I remember lightning And rain so hard We had to stop the car I remember bee stings And the pain made me see stars I remember cigarettes And a sudden ashtray kiss Johnny Walker sunsets And a thread round your wrist But I could have done without it all I could have done without it all I remember summers Your chlorine hair And headache glares Bleeding on the runners Pretending not to care But I could have done without it all I could have done without it all If you wanna Know the answer Then you better know Just what to ask I don’t wanna Talk about it I just want someone to kno-ho-how I don’t want to Seem ungrateful But you know how it can Suddenly turn hateful Thank you for the Novocaine And city lights from airplanes Thank you for the gifts that I’ve received Thank you for the lies that I believed But I could have done without it all I could have done without it all There’s an hour of sunlight There’s a raincoat full of Ra-ha-ha-in There’s a window in the summer There’s a way to make the Morning last If you’d asked me Do I want it How could I have made the choice

There were four brothers I'm the fifth They grew up But I grew inwards Mother was a casual witch Father was a lot to take A ship of children lost at sea Except for me, I must be special And I feel And I feel like The King of England They’ll tell you that I’m evil Just because I dress in black They’ll tell you I’m a weirdo That there’s something that I lack, well When your birthright is a birthwrong And your uncle is your dad Gee, Officer Krupke It's no wonder I'm so bad And I feel And I feel And I feel like The King of England Hey, Mordred You don't have to be so angry Hey, Mordred You don't have to wear that dress tonight Hey, Mordred You don't have to play the part that was written for you in this tragedy From Orkney to Caerleon I flew the coop because The king is a cuckoo And I’m an eagle Hated in the Hebrides, Loathed in Lothian Nobody loves you when you’re a bastard I glance a lot at Lancelot I leer at Guinevere ‘Cause everybody loves to see The mighty fallen And I feel And I feel And I feel like The King of England

Watching television Knew what I was wishing Should get out more often From this glass coffin I try I try You say you’re tired of living Look what you’ve been given Play the cards you've got Don't try to be what you’re not I try I try (Taking the) path of least resistance To a nonexistence Every day What I want S’just t'get out Get out I try But I end up getting by To find the time you have to wait S'gonna be your last mistake I try Family album Projected on the wall You ask me if I’m okay I’m okay with it all But I lie I lie You run around With new enthusiasm Run aground Everybody has 'em So why try Why try Such a pretty thing You aged into your looks But you don't know anything You didn’t get from books I try But I end up getting by You only ever do what you hate Find a reason to stay awake I try A new discovery About who you should be But don’t upset her You told her you’d do better I rely On the things that I despise I'm candyass and pantywaist But at least I still can say That I try

Call off the divorce I’ve realized I love you And not like before Time has made this something new I’ve realized I love you And now I’m feeling so bad For all the times I made you mad And every stupid crush I’ve had Means nothing anymore I’ve realized I love you Let’s fire the lawyers I’ve realized I love you And if we don’t tell the children They won’t have to know, cause only just now I’ve realized I love you Cause it would break their little hearts If mom and daddy had to part But we can make a brand new start Now that I finally understand I’ve realized I love you This doesn’t have to be the end My happiness on you depends You know divorce is just a trend Among some people that we know But I’ve realized I love you I used to think that love was like a statue Solid and unchanging over time But lately every time that I look at you I know it’s more Like a melody I sing to you You sing to me Because I’m yours, and I hope That you’re still mine But now you say that it’s too late And now you’ve crossed the garden gate But just you know my love will wait Until you finally realize You realize you love me

I’m apolitical I don’t care what politicians say I’ve never voted, and I never will I’ve always been that way You’re a political junkie Get your news fix from NPR Tracking every bill on capitol hill That’s just the way you are You always have something to say About the issues of the day Gathering facts to support your views But I know one thing Just a little something You won’t get from the daily news I’m in love with you Just because I’m apolitical It doesn’t mean I’m cynical And I’m in love with you I don't stand a chance with you I could never win your affection Cause I don’t even know Who’s running in the next election You wouldn’t give the time of day To anyone who feels the way I do You think I'm apathetic But there’s one thing I’m emphatic about It’s the way I feel about you I’m in love with you I may be apolitical But I’m awfully sentimental When it comes to you

You told me you were fragile You wrote it on your profile I was so impressed By how badly you’re oppressed I said tell me about your trauma You said don’t worry man I’m gonna I’m sorry So sorry Sometimes I forget that I’m the bad guy I should take a vow of silence Cause all my words are violence If I say it’s complicated You just feel invalidated And if I have a different point of view Am I just trying to gaslight you I’m sorry So sorry Sometimes I forget that I’m the bad guy You’re so fragile, you’re so brittle Your big pain makes mine seem little Never happy when I call How do you make me feel so small When you cry it’s like a hurricane And your tears fall like acid rain You can never be the one who’s wrong Because your weakness makes you strong I can never say I’ve had it rough Because I know you’ve had it rougher I'll never know how much you’ve suffered I would have thought it’d make you tougher You must have been so glad when we met To find someone who’d take to your bullshit You’re so fragile, you’re so brittle Your big pain makes mine seem little Never happy when I call How do you make me feel so small

you said meet me at the park and i promptly took the wrong bus and ended up outside these walls and i feel like im in exile and the radio was playing and the singer he was saying that people in the world you know they have got to be free and now your are free of me and i feel like i'm in exile so i took a long walk and it just wouldn't rain and this junkie said to me, man, everything's gonna be alright but i feel like i'm in exile yeah i feel like I’m in exile so i walked and i walked and i walked and i walked and i walked and i walked and goddamn if i didn't walk and i tripped and i fell and the ground him my face like a boxer rebellion i just wanted to tell ya that i feel like i'm in exile i said i'd meet you at the park and you never take the wrong bus so you were probly standing there alone by the bust of dr sun yat-sen the glorious bust of dr sun yat-sen the marvelous bust of dr sun yat-sen miraculous bust of dr sun yat-sen yeah . . . sayin’ people just got to be free and now you are free of me and now you are free of me and i feel like i'm in exile

I'm waging a war on cool I don't know how to compete with you And I never fit in with the kids I thought were like me I’m waging a war on smart You don't know how not to play that part And I don’t know how to stop pretending to be I’m waging a war on right I guess I lost all my appetite For arguing now but I’ll fight for my right to be wrong Because you’re waging a war on people Blow up the church and demolish the steeple Because you’re waging a war on people And I don’t know how to live without people I'm waging a war on okay It’s a part I don't know how not to play and no o ne’s ever okay all of the time I'm waging a war on sensitive Cause it’s the only thing I've got left to give And honestly I don’t know how much I had to begin with Cause you’re waging a war on people Blow up the church and demolish the steeple You’re waging a war on people And I don’t know how to live without people It’s a war on cool Let the squares and the normies rule They’re happy to inherit the Earth While you just sit and wonder what that could possibly be worth I'm waging a war on famous Cause we’re super sad and who could blame us I’m waging a war on knowledge I wish I had the money back I spent on college I'm waging a war on success You’re gonna have to bless this mess as it is Cause we all die And we belong To the dirt Like the clouds belong to the sky Because you’re waging a war on people Blow up the church and demolish the steeple Because you’re waging a war on people And I don’t know how to live without people It’s a war on cool Let the squares and the normies rule They’re happy to inherit the Earth While you just sit and wonder what that could possibly be worth I'm waging a war on me I think I’m gonna tell that guy to [Etc.]

I had a dad He was a knight When I grew up I would also be a knight I had a little brother I called him little wart ‘Cause I was tall When he was short But then he grew As big as me And as he grew It was obvious to see That he was cool And I was not He was headed for greatness I wasn’t headed for greatness Everything comes easily to Arthur Everything he does is just so rad Everything comes easily to Arthur And everything I do is dumb and bad When he gets mad It's appropriate If he does wrong He just owns it When he gets angry now It's always for a good reason If I was kind He was a saint If I was smart He had the biggest brain If I rode fast He rode faster If I was good at chess, well He was a Russian grandmaster I was the heir He was a page, but His teacher was A literal mage and A lady in a lake just Handed him a sword I thought he was my brother He's not really my brother Everything comes easily to Arthur The angels write his name across the sky Everything comes easily to Arthur And you can’t even hate him ‘cause he’s such a nicer guy When he gets mad It's appropriate If he does wrong He just owns it When he gets angry now It's always for a good reason And if I take it out On others who remind me of him It’s only because I Always wanted to be the kind of big brother Who’s bigger and better And smarter and had power over him And when I became a knight Arthur was my squire My skill level was high But his was higher And on the big day I forgot my sword I sent him off To find my sword And when he came back suddenly He was the king of the Britons! Everything comes easily to Arthur Everything he does is just so rad Everything comes easily to Arthur And everything I do is dumb and bad Everything comes easily to Everything comes easily to Everything comes easily to Arthur! But not to me.

No no no no no don't get up yet Stay for the end credits This is the best part Sit with me in the dark Kudos to the key grip I thought I was the best boy That’s my favorite gaffer His gaffing work’s impeccable We don’t have to go home We don’t have to go home Let’s take your car and Drive around all night Let’s go get some tacos Let’s go have some coffee Walk down by the river And talk about the year Let’s go rent a movie And watch it at your mom’s house You don’t have work tomorrow And I don’t go in till eleven We don’t have to go home We don’t have to go home Let’s take your car and Drive around all night This year has been so weird What are we gonna do now Remember that girl you dated The one with the harelip No no no no no don’t get up yet Stay for the end credits No no no no no don't get up yet Stay for the end credits [Etc.]